Forced Smiles

20 Jun

Forced Smiles

Forced Smiles

We all have these, especially single moms struggling in this heart-wrenching economy.  Lately it’s as if I have had nothing but forced smiles.  For a while it seemed like so many things were going right in my life, and at the snap of some fingers my life seems to have begun going in the wrong direction.  As much as I am trying not to let this deter me, it has taken all my strength to not only put on this forced smile but to keep it on.  And it’s never ending.  I have to put on a forced smile at work or I could be reprimanded for allowing my personal problems affect my job performance.  I have to put on a forced smile around family members or I face an entourage with their onslaught of never-ending questions.  Forced smiles are automatically required at home simply because my children are too young to be subjected to my personal problems, problems that are only getting worse by the minute.  Car accident, work stress, family issues, money issues and the worst yet, the person responsible for my accident had no insurance, which means he basically totaled my vehicle, left me without a car, left me fending for myself and scraping nickels and dimes to try and buy another vehicle in the near future.  This person altered my life in a huge way and he gets to go on about his merry way, while I, a single mom of three struggles once again meanwhile being set back to square one.  I shouldn’t be selfish for things could have been worse, but I am extremely upset and bitter at the moment, mainly at how something like this can happen and no one is held responsible.  Nevertheless, I am maintaining this forced smile for the time being until I am able to get my life back on track, until this forced smile can become a genuine smile.

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