Uprooting Your Kids May Not Always Be A Good Thing

18 Jun

faith

I know I had promised to write about my struggles as a single mom and it seems as though I haven’t been doing that all.  In fact, I have been doing quite the opposite in writing poems and sharing some photography instead.  But I divert to writing my first blog about a rather recent struggle I had as a single mom and I hope to inspire other women (men) who have gone or are currently going through a situation similar to mine.

So about 3 long years ago I was blessed to have been offered the job I currently have.  I was hired as an AP Clerk at a medium sized car dealership with limited accounting experience, but the person who hired me did so with the intentions of training me into becoming her, a Financial Controller.  During those 3 years there were many ups and down, some write ups for doing a few things incorrectly, some scolding and lectures, and last year leading into the early part of this year was in all honesty the worst.  In November of 2012, after several months of being bashed by my boss and having made a huge mistake at work I decided to quit.  I gave my two week notice, however, because of cash handling I was let go that same day.  Several days later right before Thanksgiving I decided to email my ex-boss and let her know the reason I quit.  Not even a few minutes later my phone rang and my heart literally stopped beating, at least it felt like it did.  It was my boss.  I reluctantly answered the phone and she proceeded to ask me why I quit and if I had thought my decision through.  Well after a few minutes she asked me to go in and meet with her the following day to see about getting my job back.  The following day I went in and was offered my job back, hoping that my boss’s attitude had changed as others had informed me it had.  This was short-lived, for she became her old self within a month and in January 2013 I quit again.  This time there was no two week notice.  I just walked out and never looked back…until a month later, but we will get to that in a bit.

When I quit in January I realized how selfish it was of me.  I found myself with no job in a struggling economy and 3 kids to support.  I unfortunately did what most adults despise doing, I called my mom who lived a couple of hours away and asked if I could stay with her.  So a few weeks later in late January I moved with my mother.  I uprooted my kids, not paying attention to how they would be affected, and moved them to another school.  This was by far the worst decision I made.  Not because I didn’t want to live with my mom, quite the opposite, I love my mother very much.  Actually, the minute my kids started this new school they began to get into trouble.  My youngest was getting SUSPENDED from school!  How does a 5 year manage to get suspended? Did she attack someone with a crayon or some glue??  Nonetheless, my baby girl was kicked out for a day almost every other day.  My son got into his first scuffle ever with another kid.  I have to biased here and mention that my son has NEVER been the type to fight with anyone.  My 8 year old seemed to show no remorse when they had a couple of lock-down situations at the school.  I would need to borrow your hands and feet to count how many times I received phone calls to go pick up my children.  I was at my wits ends.  I would cry on my way to the school and it became downright embarrassing.  All the while I couldn’t find a job and because of having to go to the school constantly I missed several great job interviews.  I had many great prospects all with the same response, “You seem very qualified we will let you know once we interview the other candidates”, and then, no phone call.  This went on for a whole month and when it seemed like I would never find anything the weirdest thing happened, I was offered a great position in that same city, and I received a phone call from my old boss in which I was offered a position to return.  This was by far one of the most difficult decisions I had to make and I literally had to weigh out the pros and cons.  They both pretty much offered the same starting pay, but what swayed my decision was the fact that my kids were not happy with the move to this new city.  They were not comfortable in this new environment, and although I wanted to stay a bit longer with my mom and siblings I knew right away that my kids came first.  So with a heartbreaking decision, I packed up our stuff and moved myself and my children back to my hometown.  With the help of my boss I was able to find a house to rent and she provided me with a sign on bonus that helped with having some startup cash.  I immediately enrolled my kids in school and daycare, which I knew was difficult because this was already their 3rd school in a couple of months.  But, they finished their school year off with awesome grades and no misbehaviors reported.  We were home.

I was offered a higher title, I was finally offered my title of Financial Controller with a bit more pay with a potential for a raise in 3 months, in which I was reviewed and given another raise.  I feel that I am truly blessed even though I encountered several scary bumps along the way.  This is life though.  It will never be smooth sailing.  We just need to know how to stay strong and “keep on truckin” when the going gets bad.  I have learned a lot about myself.  I have learned to not make hasty decisions that will affect my children.  They are the most important people in my life and I am truly grateful for being given a 3rd opportunity to work for the company I do.  This is just another “trial or tribulation” that I can check off as “conquered”.

P.S. In case you are wondering why I haven’t quit a 3rd time, my boss with the crazy attitude quit about a week after I returned.  We have remained friends outside of work and she has become my confidant in many areas of my life.

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2 Responses to “Uprooting Your Kids May Not Always Be A Good Thing”

  1. latejanita June 18, 2013 at 2:36 AM #

    Our kiddos come first babe! We have to do right by them, after all the crap we went through growing up! You’re doing an awesome job with them, they’re great kiddos!

    • proudsinglemama June 18, 2013 at 8:02 AM #

      I know. It’s difficult sometimes but as moms that is something we need to remember. Thanks girl! 😀

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