Invisible Ear Plug Syndrome

27 May

ear plugs

Are there any other mommies out there who seem to have contracted a disease called the “invisible ear plug syndrome”.   It exists I promise.  It may not be a medically relevant term or have been added to Webster’s Dictionary, but I plan on adding it to the Urban Dictionary.

I believe this disease mainly affects moms of multiple children, for we often fall victim to hearing the words:  mom, mommy, mama, or mother, several times a day from ALL of our children at the exact same time.  Hence, we end up developing the “invisible ear plug syndrome” in which we subconsciously drowned out only the above referenced “mom, etc.” words and proceed to having selective hearing (usually what we are watching on TV).  I for one have had this disease for the longest time and at no point in my life plan to find a cure.  Although diseases can be harmful, I find this one to be very helpful at certain times, times when I am watching my favorite soap with a hot actor, or when I am reading a juicy book and I am at the climax point (the height of the book, not the other one you pervs).

Unfortunately this disease comes and goes, for there comes a certain time when after so many “mommies” your brain has been overpowered and you are forced to look up and yell  eerily similar to Lois from “Family Guy”  WHAT!!!  At that point one of two things can happen:  (1) your child says or asks for something that did require your attention and you end up feeling guilty, or (2) your child had nothing meaningful to say and you go on about perfecting the “invisible ear plug syndrome”.  Either way, I hope I am not the only one out there with this disease, or I have failed as a mother.


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