How Old Am I Really?

22 May

I pose this question because lately I have found myself making excuses not to go out with friends even though I have secured a perfectly reliable baby sitter.  In the event that I do muster up the strength to go out one evening I feel like I must take a nap around 5pm in order to be ready for the late festivities.  Who does this??? When I’m out all I can think of is the wonderful cotton-like bed that awaits me at home or how I would rather be playing bingo in a cigarette-smoke infested bingo hall.

Remembering what I did the day before has become a challenge, so please don’t ask me about the previous day’s events, or worse, last year’s.  I have to ask my kids to remember what the reason is for going to the store or forget it, I end up leaving with something completely different that I originally went in for.  Oh my, and the parking?? Has anyone else out there in their 30s parked on one side of the parking lot and ended up walking out on the other side, with a sudden panic attack thinking your car was stolen?  This was me a few weeks ago at a Wal Mart parking lot in which fear set in followed by panic then complete embarrassment when I realized I was on the wrong side of the parking lot.  So there I am pushing my cart full of groceries with my three kids following behind (I always compare myself to a mother hen in this situation) cutting through the lot, dodging cars and trying to avoid hitting the side view mirrors of the parked vehicles.   The funny thing is that when this happens I always try to find a way to play it off as if I meant to walk out on the wrong side, not that anyone is even really paying attention to the crazy lady in the parking lot.

I have also recently acquired a green thumb.  I never cared for plants much therefore I do not know their names or which ones do well in certain seasons.  But just this year I ended up at a Home Depot, buying plants, flowers, shrubs, garden shears and gloves and my favorite, a bird bath.  With the help of my mother I spruced up my lawn and had it looking like a prize winner all in a days work.   Now all I can think of when I tend to my garden is my grandmother, and how she would always be outside watering her plants, she had the greenest grass in the neighborhood with the most beautiful rose bushes out there.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my grandmother and her garden very much, but I am starting to see some strong similarities between her and I. 

So am I a 31 year old mother who is maturing at a slightly faster pace than others or do I just have to accept the fact that I am getting old?  As the saying goes “the older you get the wiser you become”, I guess it really doesn’t matter then.


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